World Meeting 1
by Duckula Sunk My ROFLship
Summary: A very chaotic meeting. As usual.


I strode in confidently. I owned the room. I immediately went over to England and attacked him with a surprise kiss, then took my position at the front of the room and looked at everyone else. Looked like Romano was pissed at Spain for something. Germany facepalmed as Italy sat on his lap. There were four empty seats.

"Who's not here?" I asked. A few countries turned to look.

"My brother Russia," answered Belarus.

"Ah. Well, we can hardly start the meeting without him," England said, "however much I'd like it if he weren't invited." My England still held a grudge against Russia for ruining our wedding.

At that moment Russia walked into the room, his arm around Lithuania's waist and Estonia and Latvia shivering behind. Russia rubbed his nose against Lithuania's, and the smaller country giggled. Russia looked up.

"I hope I haven't kept you waiting," he smiled at the room.

"Just take your seats and I'll introduce today's topic," I said. They did so – sort of. Russia told Lithuania to sit in Russia's seat, and then terrified the country in the seat to the right of where Lithuania was now sitting into taking Lithuania's usual seat next to Poland and the other Baltics. Lithuania edged away from Belarus, who was glaring daggers at him, and Russia started stroking his hair.

"If we're quite finished?" I said loudly. "Today we're going to talk about immigration. It's causing problems, people!" I turned to the whiteboard behind me and started drawing a complicated diagram with arrows going everywhere. "There are too many people from these countries here moving to these countries here."

"I am being flooded with your citizens, England!" Spain spoke up, "What do I do with them all?"

"They're only going over to you because I have loads of others, for instance Poland's people," England countered.

"It's totally not easy living next to Russia!" Poland cried, "Like, give me a break!" Several eyes turned to Russia, who was kissing Lithuania. I cleared my throat and he looked up.

"Was I meant to be paying attention?" he asked, and Lithuania winced as he did something to his back.

"Didn't there used to be a country where everyone's people used to be welcome?" piped up a voice, and every country turned to me.

"Uh, well, I mean…" I cleared my throat. "Well, about that, I mean… Wha… Uh, isn't Russia the largest country in the world? Why can't he take some people?"

"There's no way I'm sending my people to that monster!"

"They'd freeze!"

"As if my people would, like, go to Russia!"

"Russia is a very nice place," Russia said, taking Lithuania's finger out of his mouth. I think he'd been… Chewing on it… "In fact, Russia is so nice that everyone should become one with me." Somehow his sweet smile was made less innocent by the blood tainting his teeth and lips. I shuddered.

"Shall we… Move on?" I suggested, and everyone agreed. "The next topic we need to talk about is -"

"Ah!"

I looked over to Lithuania, whose face had gone bright red.

"Now you do it back, da?"

"R-Russia-san… The other countries…"

"Don't you love me, Lithuania? If you loved me like I loved you you wouldn't worry about the other countries, you'd just reach into my trousers and –"

"Oh!"

"Did you like that, da?"

"R-Russia-s-san… I'm not really…"

"What are they doing, Germany?"

"It's probably best you don't know, Italy…"

"Would you like to play a game, Lithuania? If I get bored I think I'm going to play a game with you…" Lithuania's hand was under the table like a shot. I coughed and turned back to my notes.

"A-anyway, we should probably do something about the amount of crap we've left floating around in space…"

"That _you've_ left floating around!" called an irritated voice, which I ignored.

"I think we should build a big garbage truck and send it up into space!" I grinned.

"Who would drive this thing?"

"Garbage men, of course!" I replied. Wasn't that obvious? Who else drove garbage trucks?

"Garbage men who have been trained as astronauts?"

"We are not sending a bunch of bin men in a rubbish truck up into space!" fumed England, "That would just be the last straw!"

"Why not?" I asked, "It's a brilliant idea!"

"Don't listen to my husband," England sighed, "he is an idiot."

Suddenly I remembered that England's eldest brother had wanted us to bring something up at this meeting. Maybe we would finally get this whole bigamy thing sorted out. I wasn't comfortable with it, but England always avoided the subject.

"Hey, England, didn't Scotland have something he wanted discussed at this meeting?" I prompted.

"Oh," he snapped alert, "Oh, er, no, that wasn't anything important." He sipped at his tea and didn't look me in the eye.

Germany raised his hand to speak.

"I think," he said, as Italy nibbled his earlobe, Russia leant back in his chair and moaned, and England punched France in the face for some remark or other, "that we should postpone this meeting." There was agreement from all around the room, and we all quickly got up to leave. My stomach rumbled just as I stepped out the doorway so I took a few bites of a cheeseburger before stuffing it back into my pocket. Suddenly England was pinning me against the wall.

"'Garbage truck'?" he raised and eyebrow.

"I liked the idea," I muttered through some burger, and he took my hand. He immediately let go of it though.

"America, your hand is all greasy!" he tutted, and started licking my fingers. "And how many times do I have to tell you not to talk with your mouth full?" He kissed me, and I was shocked to realise he was stealing bits of burger and swallowing them himself. Shocked and incredibly turned on. I kissed him back passionately, holding him close as he gripped my hair.

Suddenly we hear an unrestrained, long, loud moan from the conference room we were outside and broke apart. I guessed Russia and Lithuania hadn't left yet. We heard Lithuania scream, but, not wanting to cause and international incident, we headed for the exit.


End file.
